感触多多

Ya, this is probably the 5th time im saying all these...

The thought of having the LAST lesson with them makes me feel down. The thought of not being able to teach them again makes me upset. The thought of not being able to chat with them and laugh at their jokes really makes me sad.

As i tell 4t2 "class, tmr will be our last lesson" ... there's a lot of flashbacks in my mind. Scenes of them making me angry.. making me frustrated.. making me happy. Scenes of me motivating them, screaming at them, praising them, talking sense into them. Scenes of them trying to irritate me, trying to cheer me up, trying to get my attention and trying to impress me. Scenes of them chasing one another, scenes of them trying to be funny, scenes of them playing tricks on one another.

i knew these kids since they were in sec 1. And i taught them for close to 3years. i know them inside out. I see them grow up and getting slightly more matured. I see them get into trouble and i see them changing for the better. And this year, i see most of them trying to study hard and do well in their studies.

I thought i should be used to all these "graduating" issues but somehow i still cant bear to see them leave. I do not know if i have made a difference in their lives.. but they certainly have left some footprints in mine. That's probably one of the joys in being an educator.

Today, i went to pass nic some revision papers. He was very appreciative and he kept thanking me. I looked at him and in my mind.. i really tried to think what more can i do to help this boy. He's a smart boy but sometimes impulsive and tends not to consider about the consequences of his actions. And he is a sweet and respectful boy. When i first heard of him, i didnt really have a good impression of him but after teaching him for like 9 months, i find him a joy to teach. Perhaps to others, he is someone who always cant be bothered and someone who doesnt care about the rules.. but i dare to say.. if he knows where you are coming from and if he knows you do things because you care, this boy here will definitely do it just for your sake.

Same goes to wy, immature as he may be.. he is a sweet boy who cares for people who are nice to him. Smart but lack of self confidence. Sometimes i feel quite useless as im unable to get him to build up his confidence. He is afraid of failures and hence refuses to try. A couple of times, he told me he will do it for my sake. And i remember them all. And i hope he will do it once again for the upcoming exams. Havent seen him for two weeks? haix. i wonder how he is now. I guess i better give him a call tmr. :)

Last but not least, RiYu. He made my day. I saw him doing Amaths on his own after school today. Though his friends were all there doing their Art, our playful RiYu managed to sit down next to them, and focus on his work. Talked to him via msn. He has really settle down and is now much more focused on studies. I know he wants to do well now, and i really hope to see him in 5N next year. Such little actions from him really motivates me to do even more for him. I'm now so energized to spend more time with him to do Maths! :p

Anyway, YA, 我真得很舍不得他们走... :(