My Entry on 261009


Tears of Joy


Just when i was looking forward to my deployment next year (hoping i will get what i've asked for), B got what he wanted too. He's leaving, moving on to the next stage of his career.


Around 2 years back, when J left, i went through a difficult phase.. i felt lost and helpless. I do not know who to turn to. Perhaps a state of depression. But during that period of time, i have many close colleagues around me to give me moral support, entertain me and be by my side.


Now, B is leaving. I have no one sitting beside me. S is going on maternity leave next year. Gone too. Jolin is going NIE too. In fact im not even close to Jolin. WE hangs out with KY.. so i wont mingle much with him in school too. Mdm Tan is quite independent. Who else? Boss? :(


I made a wrong decision. I really should have applied for open posting back then. I hate myself for always making wrong decisions. Seriously, i regret.


No one to talk to me. No one to care for me. No one to listen to my grumbles. No one to give me advice. No one to side me. No one to eat with me. No one to entertain me. No one to teach me the concepts. No one to discuss with me.


I feel like a loner up there. With no friends. Just like an outcast.

Me: I'm very sad.
B: Be strong.

I'll remember this. I will try to be strong, independent and i will learn to adapt to do things alone. Well, there again, do i even have a choice?